Something that you never wish to read….

Before u begin lemme tel…either u read completely or drop it from here…

January 18th is a memorable day for me. It was on last Jan 18th one of my dreams came true. Now I wanna share about the dream . As Abdul Kalam said Dream is not what you see in sleep, dream is the thing which does not let you sleep, this dream of mine truly falls in that class as thinking of it still makes me sleepless. I am enclosing a page of my dairy where I jotted down the experiences then…

“I am gonna tell about ma visit to IIM. (IIM have suffixes A, B, C, K, L indicating the location). It was Niju –ma super senior and friend who told about a seminar called Barcamp. The venue was IIM. It brought immense delight to me as to make a visit to IIM-K is my intense long desire. At any cost I didn’t want to miss that bus. And I didn’t. The venue-academic block is 2km away from the main gate. I was amazed and ma eyes were taking 180 dgeree movements to ensure that i don’t miss any good scenes there.  At last we reached near Academic block. I was wondering which one of the blocks I see is the academic block. Very soon I understood, unlike ma college, here they call a “block” for a collection of multistoried eye catching buildings. We were asked to sit inside a class room.

The class room…I can’t express. How can I compare that with my class rooms? If I was asked to list the common things in ma class and that class room, the tube light will be the solitary member in that list. Even fan and chalk won’t come in that list as the amphi theatered , air conditioned class rooms there preferred LCD projectors. Superb…great…marvelous .These were some of the adjectives that were dancing on my tongue to express ma exclamation. I think a person like me who had spent hardly 6 or 7 hrs there can’t tell much about it. The part of that IIM I saw is beyond words.  Now lets to move to the incident which made my dream a memorable one.

The program started by 10 am. By 1.00 it was lunch break. My bro’s friend is student of this institute. I decided to see him. I called him, he told the name of his hostel. It was K hostel. Like the institute the hostels there also had immense regards to the English letters for they don’t even try for other names. Few volunteers helped me to show the way. So I was on my way to the k hostel. I passed E hostel. To my right there is a hostel, I don’t know the name, may be F or G. It was a 3 storied block. The ground level was parallel or horizontal to the first floor, ie: the ground floor was rather like a under ground. The rooms there had balcony. Suddenly my eyes took a permanent residence at the balcony of a room.

What was there?

After all a balcony na..?

So what was going on at that balcony…?

To be simple..In one word

SEX

Shocked…..?

If yes please stop reading for I  am going to explain more about that horrible scene.

A gal was lying on the legs of a boy. Gal was smoking. Boy was sitting on the floor. Then I looked him, his hands were busy. His hands were inside her T-shirt. Hope, there is no need to specify the female body part where his hands found “comfort”. Her legs were “vibrating” like a tuning fork. Actually her dynamic legs grabbed my attention to that balcony.

Could u believe this..?

My legs failed to take steps. I stood there.

I felt guilty. And I  cursed my destiny that made me a witness for such a dirty thing. But I am sure the boy or gal never felt the same.

1 thing I can say…

What was going on my mind was not, about the gal, boy or my lucky opportunity to see a live sex (that too free of cost) but was about that gal’s parents. Daughter studying in one of the best b schools. They spend 12lacs for 24 months program.

What the hell is she doing…?????????????????????????????????

To get an admission to IIM is not an easy task, so both were intelligent in all sense. The nation ,family and society expects a lot and never this. They should be the role model for the world and the younger one’s. Are they? and is this the way? should the youth get inspired from this…?

What so ever it may be…lemme continue

Suddenly I heard a voice:” enthada vaa noki nilkunne,,,,”

It was another  student, some how he was able 2 get that I am malayalee.

I said “nothing” He told “ignore it. It happens here, dont look there, if they see you…you will be in trouble” So I start to walk ahead, soon I turned back. The gal was looking at me, I think. Not sure. By that time she was going to reciprocate to the boy for his gentle deed. And the boy was unzipping his pants to make things easy. Quickly I turned my head and whispered “omg!!!!!!Bastards!…”  Soon I went to the K hostel. Saw shamin. Had a small chat with him. Then I returned back to the academic block. On returning from K-Hostel I dint look there. My mood was spoiled. It took time for me to become normal. I didn’t eat much. Afternoon session I was not attentive. And I left home, before the end of the program. Earlier I told ma brother and Niju, that I would return only next day morning, but I reached home by 5.30 pm. I tried to study. I failed. Still, my mind is in front of that room. Not because I don’t have such a chance or I enjoyed that sex scene a lot. But as a one liner I would tell the reason for ma discomfort as- my perspective to love and life is no way similar to those people. So what do you say now “Dream is not what you see in sleep, dream is the thing which does not let you sleep”

Is that rite…? And does that make sense now…?

IIM ma dream….givin me sleep less nights…”

When i shared this with some of  my friends then all had opinions of same school. Niju told it happens in all Premier Institutes , ignore it. All other friends of mine- irrespective of gender had opinion similar to Niju.

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2009

One more year waved its hands and said good bye. The analysis for the year goes in the usual fashion- illustrating the list of achievements and losses ,weighing each of the said lists and never able to judge which weighs more…like that …. When it comes to achievements we think of A.R. Rahman, Rasul Pookuti, Chandrayan. On the other side deaths of many veterans make us feel that 09 was a year of sorrows.

Coming to my personal life, 09 was very much eventful. Many lessons, many mistakes and many corrections too. Above all I would place my opportunity to lead Abnitio’09 from front as the greatest achievement. I had awesome time then. It was a great exposure to me.

Some of my longing desires were fulfilled which includes visit to IIM-K, pilgrimage to Sabarimala etc. Though I could not maintain my academic records I was able to master many lessons of life which made me to drop some unworthy relations, commitments  and habits on the way. At times the new acquaintances and habits made me busy like anything but I am able to find joy in all those happenings. Last but not the least the first week of December gave a new position called “blogger”. With little difficulties ma personal blog was out on 10/12/09. The entry to the blogging world was very much welcomed by the veterans over there and that made me the admin of the CetlyL!ve.

Thanks to the almighty and let’s hope for the best for all during this year…

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Rendezvou

Students always welcome Holidays irrespective of its number. After +2, I eagerly look forward on long holidays for it’s the time we could meet the old classmates and friends who are put up in distant places. During this particular xmas vacation I happened to see an old friend of mine. I am not mentioning his name; you will realize the reason soon. A casual question that always finds place in the conversation of boys is “line valathum ayoda…” The same question was asked. To which my reply was a nodding head telling “not yet”. I reciprocated the question. The reply was shocking. I could not believe how much this person has changed. “I had crush on two and they did love me but as their loving brother“. If he had told this much I would not have written this. He added “now my perception is that of mammoty’s character in the movie Orekadal..” . I got stunned yet I tried make his point clear by asking what do u mean…? For which he told “..like mamooty in the movie..relationships are static..nuthin emotional ..Only physical.” I was dumb for few seconds. I thought he was simply making up. But those words were powerful certainly more than his body. It made me feel that it was not a tea time joke. This person has misinterpreted the movie’s message. It’s true that we applause the hero on the screen because we find ourselves in them and we always want to imitate the heroism. I am not blaming the director who tried to deliver a good message. Nor I am not blaming a boy who failed to understand things. For time now I blame myself and my destiny for this ‘rendezvou’……

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One more reason to trust God

I have seen many people boldly telling that they don’t believe in God. Some  start trusting god until troubles and problems find acquaintance with them.Does god exist? This may be one of the very few questions which  science failed to answer . Debates on this is a  usual practice  (till the end of world).   Each side argue with zillions of points and for each the other have counter points. Recently i happened to know about such a discussion.Actually my friend Shanid told about this. His teacher at mosque told about this theory or argument or story… The theory goes like this :  We don’t know whether God exist or not. We have 2 options either believe God or not. What do you get if you believe in God? When trouble comes we feel God will be there to help us. You have a feeling there is someone with you always. There is no harm in believing God, even if he doesn’t exist. Because the only thing happening even if he doesn’t exit is that we never think that we  are alone. We don’t loose anything by trusting God . The second part makes the point. Suppose God exist. And you don’t trust. Then you are neglecting or discarding the ultimate power-The Almighty. Is that a real Sin?  No knows the fact.If so then y should you risk to become a sinner….

When shanid told this to me i replied  ” now i have one more reason to trust God…..”

 

Lesson on a late Sunday Night.

As usual, on last Sunday  my brother was returning to his work place by West Coast Express . We reached the station by 11.45 pm. The train was at 12.00. To my surprise the parking premises were crammed full .So we had no other options other than park outside the railway Station. We came out of the station and tried to park near the market road .My brother told “hari off the head lights, can’t you see people sleeping on the veranda of the shops”. He has great concern for the shirtless class of society. Immediately the lights were off. I looked at the people sleeping on shop floors. Life is miserable here. Then we moved to the station. His train came and left on time. On way back, I was near to my car when something strange grabbed my attention. The poor man whom I saw little before was holding a mobile phone and talking to some one. That too a good one. I didn’t start the car. I sat in the car and tried to overhear the conversation. My literacy in global, national and local language was adequate to make out that his dialect was different from the above. Though I was ignorant about the meaning of the chat the compassion in his words made me feel that he was talking to his little daughter. What so ever it may be. To whom he talks is not my concern. Has begging become a profession? I find him healthy in appearance.These kind of people are poor more at hearts. Why the hell can’t he live on his own legs? People beg when all doors shuts. What about this person??I realize in this part of the world charity is often misused. Often it reaches at the wrong end. To find the deserving charity is a hard slog for people who lend helping hands to majority class of the country.

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